Drinking the TEA

It’s not very often faithful readers that you hear me say I have changed my mind about something. Mainly, it’s because I am extremely hardheaded about the opinions I hold and it takes a near act of God to shake my beliefs enough to say I am wrong.
(My lovely bride would confirm this for you, if I were permitted to release her name publically and you could ask her, but as you know I must protect her identity, or she’ll hurt me.)
Anyway, after reading a couple of books and listening to some recorded speeches over the last few weeks, I just can’t go forward with my position on certain aspects of a movement that has taken the country by storm and will change American politics, and life in general, forever.
I am talking, of course, about the TEA Party movement. In the past I have told you that the party is dangerous and unfocussed, but I have found that this is just not true.
I came to this realization after reading former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue and the latest masterpiece by Glenn Beck, Arguing with Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government. These two publications, more than anything else opened my eyes to the Socialist agenda that the Obama bin Commie Administration is forcing down the throats of right-thinking Americans.
Now some of you may think that I am selling out and, in the spirit of complete disclosure, I must say that I went back to reexamine my positions on the TEA Party movement and these two great authors and statespersons because, after a three-year wait, I was finally contacted by FOX News concerning my application for employment as a news-script writer for the network.
I am equally honored and a bit saddened to tell you that I will be leaving Ashe County in the fall to begin my new career earning those Rupert Murdoch dollars. As I understand it from my pre-interview, I will be part of the research and writing team that will work directly for Mr. Beck and I am extremely excited to be heading to a news organization that stands for principled, fair and balanced reporting. As I understand it, I will also have the opportunity to aid the network’s various hosts and contributors in pumping Governor Palin’s 2012 bid for the White House, should she choose to run.
I know that many of my Democrat friends will turn their backs on me, and that is fine. I understand that the indoctrination you have undergone from the liberal media is difficult to overcome. I have always seen myself as a Libertarian and even that was hard to put behind me, but as the old saying goes, money talks. I have now seen that Capitalism pays, and I like to get paid.
I will miss all of you and this wonderful community that I have been so pleased to serve over the past few years and will continue to serve until I leave for the bright lights of New York City. I feel that I will be able to serve my fellow countrymen as I help Mr. Beck and Governor Palin grow the TEA Party movement into a viable political party that will finally set America back on the Right path.
Until I leave, faithful readers, I give you my solemn word that I will give you, and the issues that are important to you, my full attention and honest efforts to bring you the news fair and balanced.

Yeah right! APRIL FOOLS!!!