As I drove over to Johnson City last Friday morning to visit my Veteran’s Administration doctors, I found myself having to pull off the highway because I couldn't breathe. What brought on this near-stroke was the news that President Obama had been given the Nobel Peace Prize. While this is no longer breaking news, I couldn't let this one pass.
Now I'm not saying that someday Mr. Obama wouldn't have earned one on his own, but something is amiss here.
First of all, in order for. . .
. . . Wait, this just in from Cooperstown New York; In recognition for his stellar pitching exhibition with the Washington Nationals opening day, President Barack Obama will be presented the Cy Young Award for both American and National leagues.
Anyway, as I was saying, in order for him to have won, he would have to have been nominated in February. Feb. 2, to be exact. That means he had been in office for less than two weeks. Now the Nobel folks tried to cover that, but failed. First they said that the committee was impressed by his speech to the Muslim world, but that happened on June 21st. That’s three months and 19 days after his nomination would have been made. So then they turned to his vision and . . .
. . . Breaking news from Hollywood California; Given the popularity of President Barack Obama’s prime-time news addresses, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, has awarded him the Prime-time Emmy for best male reality star.
As I was saying, the Nobel Committee turned to his vision to make their decision to give him the award. Apparently, they felt that his plans and thoughts about a more peaceful existence in the world for everyone outweighed work done by others such as Dr. Denis Mukwege, a doctor dedicated to helping rape victims in the Congo. Today, in this tortured piece of the planet, assaults have reached heights of 27,000 rapes reported in a single year in a single province.
There is also Wei Jingsheng: The father of Chinese democracy. For Wei Jingsheng, this year’s nomination is the seventh he has received for his work fighting for democratic rights in China. Now 59, Wei was once a convinced ideologue, who served as a Red Guard during the Cultural Revolution. That view changed as he saw the reality of Chairman Mao Zedong's China, and he became a committed democratic activist who was jailed for 18 years until international pressure forced his release in 1997. Just to name a couple.
You know, if just planning to do great things now brings high honor. . .
. . .News Flash from Award Headquarters in Santa Monica, Calf.; In recognition of his contributions to American music by hosting Jazz, Country and Latin music celebrations in the nation’s capital, President Barack Obama has been awarded the Grammy for lifetime achievement in music.
Anyhow, if just planning and wishing for things now brings recognition, then I would like to take this moment to thank everyone who makes my first Pulitzer Prize possible. I expect to be receiving word of my win any day now.
You know, this whole deal is just another eerie coincidence between the Carter and Obama administrations. Granted that Carter had to wait 20 years for his Nobel, but he got one and, just like Carter, Obama rode into the White House because America wanted anything not Republican.
Some people have been saying that President Obama received this award because he wasn’t George W. Bush, and that simply supports my belief.
Unfortunately, I think it is just a bandwagon effect. The hype over all the great things that this President was supposed to do is still resonating around the world, while here at home we know that. . .
. . . Just in from National Basketball Association Headquarters in New York City; In recognition of his stellar performances (especially on defense) during his all-male pick-up games NBA Commissioner David Stern today announced that President Barrack Obama has been named both League MVP and Rookie of the Year.
Anyway, here at home we know that he hasn’t done anything yet except continue the Bush plans of bailing out corporations, violating our First and Fourth Amendment rights by not getting rid of the PATRIOT Act and not only planning on extending our time in Afghanistan, but now considering opening up another front in Pakistan. All the while unemployment keeps rising, along with the prices of everything.
I know, before you start to whine at me, that he doesn’t win everything. I mean, was the Olympic deal really a surprise to any of you? Given the choice of Chicago, which is not the garden spot some like to make it out to be, and Rio de Janeiro, where one of the Seven New Wonders of the World, the "Christ the Redeemer" statue is located and a country which has arguably done more things to promote the bikini industry than any other country in the . . .
. . .Las Vegas, Nevada; In a stunning surprise decision the judges of the 2009 Legends XI World Bartending Championship have named President Barack Obama the 2009 Worlds Best Bartender in recognition of his efforts to use alcohol as a tool for peace and racial understanding. The President, as you may remember, played host to the first White House Beer Summit between scholar Henry Louis Gates, Jr., and Cambrige Mass. Police Officer Sgt. Joseph Crowley. Future summits may include a ‘Middle East Mimosa Meeting’ and ‘Gimlets for Gay marriage.’
I suppose that if this pace keeps up our President will need to convert the Lincoln bedroom into a trophy room so that he can enjoy all the awards that he is scheduled to receive over the next few years. . .
. . . This just in. . .
I give up.
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